The ingredients of a good stand-up speech

The older I get, the higher the odds of me holding a (in)voluntary speech. It’s one of the things that you cannot dodge. One day or another, a relative, a friend, or simply your professional career will put you into a situation in which you better come up with something to say. In the beginning my forays in this field were clumsy at best. They are still not perfect but tips from colleagues, friends, and other sources helped me to collect three core ingredients of a good speech. Add to that George Orwell’s six do’s and don’ts and you’re ready for the next minutes following the spoon-strike of the glass.

Picture from within the Paulskirche in Frankfurt
(first seat of the German parliament in 1848)

1. Connect to the people present

No matter if it’s going to be the gleeful situation of a promotion or the sad circumstances of a death, knowing and connecting with your audience is pivotal for every sort of speech. Tailor your words to the people present and use a “pick-up line” helping them to identify with you. One of the best ways to do so is by explaining your personal connection to the situation. Then incorporate the people around you. A humble “I feel honored to be selected to talk in front of a group of such excellent people” is a good start. Combine that with the classic “I once sat exactly where you sit now” and you’re good to go.

2. Talk about a truth that touches the hearts

Speaking the truth is harder than it seems because it often involves dealing with inconveniencies. I’ve attended many business speeches trying to sugarcoat the state of products, financials, and markets, even though everybody sort of knew what was going on. Business is about results, so trying to make the facts more appealing using crooked figures and euphemisms doesn’t help. Talking about the disastrous state of the revenues however, opens the door to catharsis. The impact of light is anti-septic: truth is light. Of course this also works for the fine tidings of a wedding. Here the difficulty lies in missing the point. A wedding is about love, so don’t try to be too funny and opt for the cheesy. 

3. Give a positive outlook

Now leaving people’s hearts vulnerable lying there in the sunlight would be unfortunate. The last step is to turn this moment of clarity into a moment of vision. In the business sense that might be to explain the next steps for getting out of the mess. On a wedding it can be the outlook of the bumpy ride ahead that is so rewarding in the end. A situation dealing with a loss of a life is harder – keeping the people present together as a group for future memorials may help.

Admittedly, these three steps are pretty general. Yet they serve well as a structural rope especially in a spontaneous rush. Besides, they are multilingual and suit various occasions. Now when you have to prepare a speech in English, I believe the following six Guidelines rooted on George Orwell’s essay “Politics and the English Language” come in handy:

1. Avoid overused metaphors and replace them with new ones. For instance, don’t go for “we didn’t have that on the radar,” rather put in “sonar” for a change. Play around with a couple of ideas and your text will gain a new freshness while maintaining comprehensiveness.

2. Replace long words with shorter ones, e.g. change “mannerism” into “habit” or “performance” into “act.”

3. Cut as much of the words as you can out of a sentence as long as the desired point gets across you will be fine. -> Cut words out of sentences as long as the point gets across.

4. Turn passive voice into active voice when feasible. Change “A letter that has been written by James” to “James has written a letter.”

5. Avoid gobbledygook and jargon; communicate so that everybody can understand you. “Connect a twisted-pair UDP Cat 5 cable into the RJ45 socket” is easier to understand by saying “put the red cable into the blue socket.”

6. Above all, say something interesting.

C.p.: Orwell, “Politics and the English Language” 1946, Horizon, London.